Sunday, February 7, 2010
Talked to my Mom today...
Well, I talked to my Mom today about me being bisexual. I didn't go to well to tell you the truth. She doesn't really think I'm bi, she thinks the people who are gay, bisexual, or lesbians confuse friendship with sexual attraction, she thinks I'm confused. She said that if I "turned gay" then she would give me her blessing and then would be done with it. She then talked about how not too long ago I was "bugging" her about this boy on the bus and now I think I'm gay (I said bisexual but...). I asked her if she even wanted to hear about girls and she said no, because I was "just obsessed with the girls". Like that was so horrible. I know that she is from Paraguay (My Dad was from Argentina but he died when I was 10 so...) and that they have a more conservative culture there but... She thinks that I will grow up and get married to a man and I know that that could never happen for me, the thought of me married to a man makes me tear up with sadness. I can't pretend to be straight anymore, I just can't. It's too hard, it's not worth the mental anguish. Another thing that worries me is that tomorrow I have my IEP meeting. One of my teachers is the co-adviser of the gay-straight alliance (GSA) at my school. I hate to say this but she "looks" like a lesbian (I feel really bad about this) and I'm scared the my Mom will think that she is influencing me. She is an an amazing teacher, let me just say that. She isn't "influencing" me in that way but my Mom might think that. After I had this discussion with my Mom I thought, 'what was I thinking, I should have waited until after the meeting'. I'll just have to shut up about my queerness for a while and hope she forgets about it by tomorrow!